A Fortunate Woman Read online

  “We haven’t had a theme since you abandoned us, Pet. The balls have been horribly dull by comparison. Don’t tell Ania I said that, though. She’s our planner now,” Lore remarked, laughing. “I remember your fertility ball in particular,” she said, raising her eyebrows. “You were daring.”

  “It was my job,” I admitted, chuckling at myself. “Well, it was a little more than that, I guess. I enjoyed surprising you, and seeing your eyes light up as you absorbed the spectacle I’d created for you.” We were both quiet for a moment as we took in the years that had passed with us apart.

  “Can we finally be friends again?” Lore asked, lifting her head from my shoulder to hold my gaze. “Is that why you’ve come home, to reconcile with us? Please, say you’ve finished your voluntary exile. Tell me you’re home for good, and I’ll be the happiest woman alive.”

  “Lore, we have been and always will be friends,” I pointed out. “But I can only promise to stay the season. My life, my work, and my home are in Saranedam now.” Lore nodded, turning to look out at the shimmering water.

  “That’s a maybe, then,” she observed. “I can work with that.” I laughed at her still stubborn nature.

  “I should go down for my ritual cleansing,” I said, knowing she likely had last minute details to attend before the season commenced. “And I need to let you get back to your preparations.” Lore nodded.

  “I’ve missed you,” she said softly, before turning to leave me. After a few steps, she turned back to me. “Oh, I almost forgot. Your old room has been waiting for you all these years, undisturbed. Your trunks have already been deposited in your sitting room.”

  I watched her walking away for a moment, wondering what my life might have been if she had wanted me, as I once wanted her. I stepped over the lip of the cliff and then made my way down to the water, taking my time, and in no hurry to return to the chaos I expected to find in the palace. Finally, though, I reached the base of the cliff.

  The pure white sand on the beach sparkled in the sunlight, like powdered glass. I loved the feel of the beach, and wondered why I’d denied myself the sensual pleasure of warm sand between my toes for so long. The salt on the wind, and the lush smell of the water brought tears to my eyes as I slowly stripped my dusty travel clothes from my body.

  I dove into the warm shimmery water from a rock outcropping, and swam against the current into the deep. When I broke the surface of the water, and took a lungful of the thick, damp, sea air, I knew I was home. A thrill of anticipation moved through my body. I’d been born in Lareem Palace. My first memories were of the bright parties and bustling activities out by the beach. In those days everyone wanted to bathe in the sacred water Deus lauded. Before Lore’s reformation, the shining water of the Luminous Gulf was believed to be the most sacred in the land.

  After a long, vigorous swim out into the cooler, deep water, something shiny caught my eye. I dove to the sea floor to retrieve what I believed to be an unusual shell. I gripped it securely in my hand, intent on examining it once I reached the shore again. When I returned, spent from my swim, I collapsed onto the beach to examine my find. I held a heart-shaped locket in my hand. It was embedded with sapphires mostly, and a few diamonds, and hung from a fine platinum chain. It was quite old, I guessed, and reminded me of one M’Tek had worn when I was a girl. I tried to open it, to discover what was concealed inside. The clasp was encrusted with salt, from its years under water, and wouldn’t budge. After little effort, I gave up, and relaxed down on the powdery white sand, allowing the sun to slowly dry the beads of seawater from my skin until only dots of salt remained, leaving a pale gritty residue on my flesh.

  Once dry, I knew it was time to face the palace, and all of those patient ghosts waiting for me inside. I lifted the chain over my head, and the locket dropped down between my breasts. It looked right resting there. Wearing a smile, I gathered my gauzy white tunic and slipped it over my head, but left it open at the throat so the locket showed. I drew my still dusty grey breeches on, but preferred to carry my riding boots. I walked up the cliff path, careful of my soft toes against the sharp rocks, and headed back toward the palace. My hair was still dripping salty droplets on my tunic when I rounded through to the private hallway up toward the family apartments.

  I garnered some curious glances as I walked past the staff, and made my way directly for my old apartment. Once inside my sitting room, I saw my luggage waiting beside the doorway. I opened my cases, retrieving my attire for the evening, hanging my gown first, to release the wrinkles. I then indulged in a long soak in the deep, copper bathtub in my adjoining bath chamber. A memory of the Queen’s bathing chamber at the old Vilkerdam Palace played through my mind, as I considered what a pity it was Lore had destroyed that lovely, ancient, Noge palace. The destruction of such beauty was a misfortune I still felt deep within me, so I put it from my mind.

  After my bath I lounged around my old sitting room, remembering with interest the frantic anticipation of those last days I’d lived between those walls, as I waited for Lore’s attention to turn from mourning M’Tek, finally, to loving me. At some point the pain had slipped away from the memory, allowing me to see the past as if it had happened to another Pet’Wyn, and leaving me to wonder at the naiveté of my former self. A knock at my apartment door pulled me back to the present.

  Upon answering my door I found that Lore had thoughtfully sent up a tray of fruits and petou, remembering petou was a favorite of mine. The cloudberry wine I discovered on the table was quite rare, and excellent. Still, I preferred the torppa next to it. Since becoming Lemu, nothing but torppa would give me even the slightest buzz. Thinking back, that was another reason not to become Lemu. I’d received no warning of that inconvenience, only learning of the difficulty in becoming intoxicated through experience, after Lore had changed me.

  A gleeful smile settled on my face as I poured myself a small fortune in torppa. Before my relocation to Saranedam Palace, I’d only ever indulged in the sensuous dark liquor on those rare occasions when Lore offered it to me. On my first evening back at Lareem Palace, I decided I deserved a little lift, and poured generously. I quickly swallowed the contents of my first glass and poured another. This one I sipped slowly, savoring the sensations it evoked, scrutinizing the different flavors flooding my mouth, as I scanned through a book on torppa production in Baneland in which I featured prominently.

  Torppine berries had proven to be a true cash crop. After the first year of planting and harvesting, and the next seven years of holding the poisonous juice in barrels until it was innocuous, the value by the ounce was staggering. I’d bought up hundreds of thousands of acres in Baneland, years ago, when the price was absurdly low. Slowly, I cultivated the best torppine vineyards in the Northern Baneland region. They had proven shockingly profitable, and my neighbors had followed my example, until we cornered the market on the beverage. Even the Fae bought their torppa from Baneland now.

  I enjoyed the fruit of my brainchild, noticing the label on the vintage I was consuming. The bottle hailed from my first torppine vineyard, that first picking of the third harvest. I smiled and finished off my second glass, quickly pouring another before heading back to begin preparations for the evening.

  My new dress was lovely, I decided, admiring the way the light played across the detail work. The gown was of the palest green, Old Noge silk, and covered in elaborate copper thread detail work. It was a dress to rival the ones I’d commissioned for Lore in those early years, before she was joined to M’Tek. I slipped the gown on, and admired the way it fell. I worked my hair into an intricate twist, careful to tuck away the silver strands marring the glowing copper. My jewelry was next. I chose emeralds, of course. I then slipped on my exquisite shoes, made by the most talented cobbler in all of Nogeland. I surveyed myself in the mirror, deciding the results of my efforts were satisfactory, before heading downstairs to the ball.

  My arrival was about an hour later than that of most of the guests. I intentionally missed M’
Tek opening the season, and claiming Lore for the first dance. I knew they would still be linked and spinning throughout the room, but at least I wouldn’t be expected to stand still and admire the sight. Admittedly, watching Lore dance, or doing anything at all really, had once been my favorite indulgence, but I was no longer in love with Lore.

  I slipped into the ballroom through the garden door at the side, and made my way toward the beverages. That first bottle of torppa was having a lovely effect on my senses, and I thought I might try to raise the impact with another glass or two. Before I could reach that side of the room, I collided with a leggy blonde who danced across my path.

  At first I thought she was Lore, because of the shape of her body, and the way she moved. When I reached out to right her, clasping her by the shoulders, her unusual eyes focused on me. They were the palest grey, almost silver, similar to M’Tek’s, but with random flecks of almost black grey in the irises. I was stunned as it began to connect, in my torppa-addled brain, exactly whom I was holding upright. The young woman, noticing my bewilderment, offered a playful smile, reminding me of Lore when I first knew her.

  I bowed slightly, in acknowledgement, and released the princess, forcibly returning my gaze to the beverage area, while my heart battered the walls of my chest. That beautiful woman was Aurelia, or Lia as Lore referred to her. I turned my back to the girl and finally seized upon a glass of berrywine, since there was no torppa to be had. Before I could raise my glass to my lips, Lore was beside me.

  “Dance with me, Pet,” she commanded in a breathy voice, sending the memory of longing through me. I placed my glass down, nodded and she whisked me away.

  It was a Noge dance, and one I was familiar with, and so I spun her around the floor, refusing her initial attempt to lead. Her dress was beautiful, the palest blue, and flaring around her long legs. I kept her moving, never allowing her to rest against me, as I was afraid the lemon scent she at one time evoked in me might return, and color my skin. After the dance was finished she stood smiling, her face flushed. I offered a formal Noge bow and turned away. Just as I was heading back toward my, far from forgotten, glass of berrywine, Ania intercepted me, wrapping her arms around me.

  “Cousin Pet, I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, squeezing me.

  When she released me I noticed traits of both of her mothers, but M’Tek was the dominant influence. Ania was beautiful, with the narrow and slightly longish Tannuk nose, M’Tek’s cheekbones, and Lore’s intense blue eyes. Her nearly black hair had been twisted into a thousand tiny braids and worked into an elaborate knot.

  “Ania, you’re so like your mother,” I said without thinking.

  “Which one?” she asked with a wry smile.

  “Both, but mostly my cousin,” I acknowledged.

  “Everyone tells me I’m the reflection of Mata,” Ania replied with a charming head toss and a self-satisfied grin. Clearly, Ania knew being compared to M’Tek was a great compliment, though I’d not been trying to flatter the young woman. “Will you come and meet someone?” she asked, seizing my arm and leading me over to an attractive young Fae noble. I liked his caramel colored skin and thick dark lashes.

  “Fen’Tun of the House Kantok,” Ania said importantly, “I’d like you to meet our legendary and elusive cousin, Her Grace, the Grand Duchess of Tannuk. Cousin Pet, this is Fen’Tun.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Your Grace,” the young man said. “I’ve heard a great deal about you from Ania, and from everyone, actually,” he added. “You’ve been a constant source of conversation for months, and the most anticipated guest of the season.”

  “Really?” I asked with a chuckle. “Well, I’m pleased to meet you, Fen’Tun,” I replied, feeling sort of lost at the obvious passage of years. Ania was a stranger to me.

  We chatted for a few minutes as she informed me of her impending attachment to Fen’Tun. As the music changed, he glanced at her, indicating a desire to dance, I suspect. I excused myself and headed back toward my much longed for glass of berrywine.

  Just as I reached the beverage area, I watched as a delicate hand lifted my abandoned glass of berrywine to her perfect, bow shaped, lips. My gaze travelled over the woman, as I reminded myself I was ogling Lore’s daughter. Her pale lavender dress hugged her slight shape, emphasizing her beautiful, high chest and tapered waist. She offered a playful smile as she read the anxiety I was trying to conceal, and approached me, holding my glass out as an offering.

  “I was watching your drink for you,” she explained. “You don’t mind that I took a tiny sip?” she asked, extending the glass to me.

  “Why would I mind?” I replied. She stepped closer, leaning in to whisper in my ear.

  “You’re completely astonishing,” she whispered, her breath tickling my neck and raising goose bumps along my spin.

  “Astonishing in what way, Lia?” I asked, confused by her choice of words.

  “You absolutely must dance with me,” she said, rather than explain.

  I was about to refuse, but she reclaimed the glass from my grasp, placed it on the table, and led me out to the center of the room. There was no question who was leading whom, as she spun me around the floor. When the song ended, Lia stepped close to me, snaking an arm across my back and sweeping me from the ballroom and out into the balmy night.

  “You looked lost for a moment when you first arrived,” Lia observed, as we walked. “This isn’t easy for you, is it, returning to the fold after all these years of exile?”

  “Is that what I’m doing?” I asked, in an attempt to deflect the question.

  “All of Faeland knows you were once in love with Mamma. That’s why they sent you away,” she offered.

  “How would all of Faeland know what was in my heart?” I asked in a sharper tone than I intended.

  “Well, maybe I was exaggerating a little,” Lia admitted offering a teasing smile.

  “Regardless, please, don’t let’s discuss that, Lia,” I whispered. “You’ll only make me feel awkward.”

  “I knew,” she said. “I always knew. You wanted to replace Mata, but I wouldn’t allow it. That’s why I gave you such a hard time, refusing your influence when you tried to mother me. Do you remember when I became a boy? You didn’t know what to do with me after that.”

  “Well, you certainly look nothing like a boy now,” I replied without thinking.

  “Thank you, Pet,” she whispered as her gaze shifted to my surprisingly warm face. “And you don’t sound like someone who’s in love with my mother.”

  We fell silent as we continued to walk, her hand still resting at the base of my back. I thought I should turn around and return to the ball, but something held me to this guileless young woman. We walked on, out to the edge of the cliff. I led her along the cliff’s edge to my favorite spot, my mother’s lookout, and gazed out at the glowing turquoise water. Lia’s hand moved up along my back. But then I stepped away from that inappropriate contact and turned to face her, ready to caution her.

  The moonlight shone on her ivory skin and illuminated her pale eyes. I waited for what she would do, determined to maintain my composure, but then she stepped forward and pressed her lips to mine. Her mouth was exquisite, her lips the softest I’d ever kissed. I sighed as her lips left mine, her mouth moving down my neck, her hands coaxing me closer to her until our breasts were lightly touching. Her lips returned to mine again as her mouth opened to taste my tongue. I was breathing hard, my pulse racing, when she nibbled at my bottom lip and drew back.

  “Truly, you are astonishing,” she whispered.

  “Deus!” I said sharply, turning to leave before I did something even worse than kissing Lore’s child.

  “Wait!” she said, catching my arm in a gentle grip. “That was an amazing kiss,” she said. “I can’t allow you to just cuss and leave after that. You’ll avoid me the rest of the season. You liked kissing me. I could tell. I admit that I enjoyed it. We need to agree about that quickly or this could get awkward.”

/>   “This has already moved far beyond awkward, Lia. You’re a child,” I said quietly. “I’ve just kissed the child of my closest friend,” I added more to myself than to Lia.

  “I’m not a child. Mamma was a child when Mata met her,” Lia replied. “I’m twenty,” she assured me, as if those few years make so much difference. “And you are nowhere close to as old as Mata was.”

  “Lia, sweetie, I held you seconds after you were born,” I said. “I gave you your first bath. Mine may be the first face you ever saw. You even slept in my bed with me when you were an infant.”

  “What does it matter? I don’t remember any of that,” she replied, stepping closer to me, her grip on my hand constant.

  I could feel her breath on my skin, and my lips were still tingling from her kiss, when her free hand settled on my waist. Her lips touched my neck gently. My breath was coming too fast as her kisses trailed down my throat, dipping dangerously toward my cleavage. Her free hand gripped the feather light silk of my dress at my back as one of her thighs pressed slightly between my legs. My body was responding, and I knew that it was completely wrong, reacting to Lore’s daughter in a carnal way. I pulled away from her as her fingers grazed my outer hip.

  “This can’t be happening,” I said firmly. “I won’t allow this to be happenning,” I added, turning away from her and heading back to the ball.

  I nearly ran, aware she watched me, and feeling foolish for fleeing the girl. When I reemerged in the ballroom, it was just in time to see the end of one of the more dramatic Fae dances. M’Tek bowed low to Lore in the center of the room. Within moments a dance partner presented next to me, introducing himself with a flourish. All of the dramatic Fae behaviors made me miss the Noge with their finely honed sense of decorum and restraint. Still, I accepted the man’s offer of a dance, forgetting his name before I’d even stepped out onto the floor.

  Throughout the evening I was a particularly sought after dance partner, seeming to glide from one set of anonymous, masculine arms to another, until the early hours of the morning. I’d kept my eyes on the garden entrance, scanning for Lia, but to my disappointment, the beautiful young woman never returned to the ball.